MANAGERS TO BE OFFERED ICE LOLLIES MANAGERS in the Norfolk League will be rewarded with ice lollies, extra cartoons and may even be allowed to stay up after 9pm. The Norfolk FA is to roll out a new system of incentives to run alongside its existing strategy of a ban on cartoons, no ice lollies and, if necessary, a smacked bottom. A department of health spokesman said: "Managing a team is very stressful. It gives you nasties in your tummy and makes you all sad. "If you're very good and you win a match, you can have either a Mini Milk, a Twister or a Feast. "If you're very, very good and remain undefeated for a month, you can watch Animaniacs when you come home from work. "And if you're very, very, very good and remain undefeated for a full season we'll let you stay up after nine o'clock and watch the lesbian episodes of Sex and the City." The Norfolk FA believes the two-pronged strategy of punishment and reward will produce calm, obedient managers who will share their toys and make friends easily. Nicholas Millar, the 29 year-old manager of Gohtza City, said he supported the new scheme, adding: "I want a bike! I want a bike! I want a bike!" by Nicholas Millar, manager of Gohtza City

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