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HALL OF FAME - PRESS

Persbrant to lose captaincy
White Riot’s Tommi Persbrant looks set to lose his captains armband next season. El Barto is favourite to take over although Carl Kit is also rumoured to be in the frame.

It is unsure whether Persbrant’s fall from grace is connected to his penalty miss and subsequent sending off in the cup final. Saunders was said to have been furious with Persbrant after the game and roundhouse kicked him in the head in a heated bust up. Persbrant is then reported to have then dragged Saunders by one leg into to showers before attempting to bite his ears off in a cannibalistic frenzy. Stewards fortunately heard Saunders cry for help and managed to drag Persbrant off a clearly terrified Saunders and locked him in the office. Persbrant was then heard to shout “don’t make me angry, you won’t like me when I’m angry” before going on a rampage and completely destroying Saunders office. Police later found him sitting in the corner, dressed in rags and with a confused look on his face. He was later seen thumbing a lift from a pick-up truck whilst sad music played in the background.

Chigley manager Saunders is going to announce Persbrant’s successor before their first match of the season.


by Andrew Saunders, manager of White Riot

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