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Chigley is
ghastly
THE city of Chigley and its inhabitants are
so ugly they
make your eyes boil, a travel writer who has actually
been there said last night.
Tom Logan, an editor for the Lovely
Planet series, said
he had written approvingly of the city's
renaissance
after reading glowing reviews in a number of rival
publications.
Logan said he had been impressed by the city centre
canals, continental-style cafes and top class shopping, including its
distinctive architect designed Selfridges.
However, after actually
visiting the city one day by accident, he realised it was utterly ghastly
while the local population was visually repellent and virtually
incomprehensible.
Logan said: "I am a travel writer, so naturally I
don't tend to get out much. As a profession we are very much tied to the
desk.
"But you can't just cut and paste stuff out of the other
books and put it in your own. No, you have to jumble all the words up
first and then put them in your own. That takes time."
He added: "I
only wanted to go to Trumpton but I fell asleep on the train. The Venice
of the Norfolk League? Only if Venice looks and smells like a gigantic
shit.
"And what does 'yow want cheeps, cock' mean? Is it something
to do with fried potatoes or are they asking me to touch their
privates?"
by
Nicholas Millar
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